Pros and Cons

The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand as
in what direction we are moving.
Oliver Wendell Holmes



Everyone has done it. Whether you actually write them down or just do it in your head you've made pro and con lists for most every major decision in your life, right? Well I know that I do it, usually in my head but sometimes I have done it on paper. Whenever I do the list on paper it always seems that the negatives outweigh the positives. If I do the list in my head it is usually 50-50 which way it will go. As I sit here writing this blog my mind is racing with the thoughts of moving to another part of the country. Specifically, moving my wife, daughter and I to Atlanta in the great state of Georgia.
I guess some things need to be clarified, first of all I really am not too sure that Georgia is all that great of a state. I have never lived there, only driven through on my way to Florida. Second, my real goal is to get my family back to the Carolinas (either one, I'm not too picky) but Georgia is a lot closer to that goal than New Hampshire is. Basically, I want my daughter to grow up in the South if at all possible. New England is okay, if you like feeling like an outsider and the cold and snow don't bother you too much. The South just always felt more like home to both my wife and I, we moved to New England in the first place because it really was our only option at the time.
All of this background information is leading to this point, if not now when? People will tell you that moving with an infant is too hard, wait until the kids are a little older. Then the kids are in the terrible twos and you can't risk upsetting them so you can't move now. Then the kids are in school and have started to make their own lives so you have to wait until the kids are out of school before you move. Before you know it 18 years have passed and we are still in New Hampshire because we listened to everyone tell us how hard it was going to be to move with kids! I fully grasp that my child is going to be in charge of my social network, my free time and my home life for the next 15-25 years. I came to grips with that issue before she was born. One thing that I am having a problem with is giving control for everything over to the baby. We are still the parents, we still need to analyze and decide what is best for all of us in the family unit. Sometimes people want their kids to make the decisions in life that are hard. If the kids make the decision than no one can be mad with the parents over the results. I am not ready to let our 8 week old daughter take the blame for us being frozen with fear about moving.
Is it scary to move to a new place where you have no friends, no family, no history? Of course it is scary, it was scary when we moved to New Hampshire, it still is scary sometimes to be in New Hampshire. Is Atlanta the answer to all my dreams, prayers, hopes, and ambitions? I don't know but I can tell you that I know New Hampshire is not the answer. Is the devil that you know better than the devil that you don't? Probably. Can't you find someplace in New Hampshire that will make you happier but not involve changing everything? No, not from what I have seen. What is the main benefit to Atlanta? Cost of living, better opportunities for my daughter, more agreeable climate. What is the main benefit to New Hampshire? Status quo, no change is good change. How does my wife feel about this? Undecided.
We can pretty much make ourselves crazy with questions...questions that can't be answered until you experience the things you are weighing against one another. In order to experience them you must be willing to try them, hence my dilemma. It's kind of like being told that you don't have enough experience for a job but the only way to get experience is by getting the job.
Does anyone really know what the future holds? Is living in fear of change the best way to live? Is change just for the sake of change a positive or a negative?
I, for one, would rather shape my future to my personal needs and desires rather than let the future just happen.