Alone time

Today was the big day, I guess I should say today was another big day. My wife went to the doctor and I was in charge of the baby, by myself, for the first time. There was no one to hand her to if she began to cry too much or to feed her or to change her. Everything that she needed for two hours was only going to be handled by one person,me.
My wife has been doing the solo act, on and off, for about two weeks because I occasionally went into work or the supermarket. She has all the tools necessary to satisfy the baby, not to mention the bonding between the two of them that has occurred over these last six weeks. Breastfeeding is certainly a great thing for mom and baby but it eliminates me from being able to share in the bonding process with our daughter. I have read the books and have heard about being able to bond in other ways, diaper changing, holding, cuddling or singing to her. None of these can come close to the bond that happens between mom and baby while feeding.
I am not trying to complain, being able to sleep all night while my wife feeds our child every three hours is really nice. It just seems that by missing out on this bond I am falling further behind in the process of getting to know our daughter and her getting to know me. This puts me at a disadvantage when I am going to watch her by myself. Or so I thought...
Once my wife left I almost picked my daughter up because she began to get fussy. The only thing that I do that my wife chooses not to is carry our daughter around in a football hold. She likes being held that way and it really seems to calm her down. Within two minutes she was fast asleep, a sleep that she would stay in until about five minutes before my wife got home. Although the last five minutes seem to last as long as the preceding 1+55 minutes we all made it through this milestone unscathed.
Will I be as lucky the next time my wife needs to go out without the baby? Probably not and the same doubts that I have about my abilities to care for our daughter, alone, will creep back into my mind. So far my wife and I are making a pretty good team. Two against one seems to be the best defense but as any football fan knows sometimes man to man is necessary.
This will just be like everything else though, becoming a dad takes practice, commitment and dedication. It doesn't require me to replace my wife, it only requires me to stand in occasionally...